Facing the Unevenness of Life

Upon arriving home last night, I found Gavin crying in my husband’s arms, recounting a terrible day at school. My heart broke for him and we took the opportunity for extra hugs and kind words.

Attempting to continue through the evening with some normalcy turned into a challenge.

Aiden, 1 ½, was having his own difficulties with the evening; finding everything frustrating and becoming more and more irritated.

Gavin decided that he wanted to play a board game and found extreme frustration that, between my household chores and Aiden’s inability to leave him alone, the board game just wasn’t going to happen.

The final straw for Gavin came when we decided to give Aiden a bath by himself, instead of allowing them to share bath time.

Let me explain-
Baths are Aiden’s favorite thing to do! We can’t even say the word in the house anymore or else he’ll make a beeline for the bathroom and jump up and down expecting the water to be turned on immediately. Many tantrums have been thrown because the word was used haphazardly and expectations were returned with disappointment. I fear that it won’t be much longer before we won’t be able to spell the word within earshot.
This time is typically shared between the boys but, with tonight’s difficulties, I figured it would be better to allow this time to be an opportunity for Aiden to unwind by himself…we definitely didn’t need bath time to turn into what the rest of the evening had already proven to be.

But Gavin saw it as “unfair” and found his heart hardened to my explanations. It was all “unfair”.
He had a bad day at school.
He couldn’t play a board game.
He couldn’t take a bath with Aiden…and on top of it, Aiden got to take his bath first.

Standing in the dining room he folded his arms and, looking downcast and grumpy, he mumbled about the unfairness.

I reached for my Bible and sat in the dining room chair and started thumbing to Matthew 25:14, asking him, “Do you know what God says about things that are unfair?”

Looking less grumpy, he asked “what?”

He sat down next to me and we read Matthew 25:14-29.

I explained to him that things are not necessarily “unfair”, but they are “uneven”.
Some people get 5 bags of silver, some people get 2 bags of silver, and some people get 1 bag of silver.
I asked him, “Is that unfair?”
He said “No, it’s just the way it is.”
I gave him a hug and said “Yes, you’re right.”
“But we ALL have the opportunity to do greater things with what we do have. You may only have one bag of silver right now, but take that bag and do great things with it.”

We then talked about how we use our “bags of silver” and how being grumpy or feeling gypped rarely leads to a prosperous end and how God is honored when we use our circumstances and situations to bring Him glory…even if it is merely with our behaviors and attitudes.
Gavin decided that he would use his “bag of silver” to have a friendlier attitude and to go about his evening in joy.

Today we awoke to our morning Bible study and Gavin recounted the story discussed last night. He decided that he would take his “bag of silver” and use it throughout his day at school. Good listening, friendly behavior and so on…

He left my loving hug this morning equipped to “use his silver”.
Sitting here, I don’t know how his day is panning out or how well he is facing his circumstances, but I do know that if today is not a total success…one day will be.

Just a random thought/question...

Why do we ponder as to what we would ask God, if given the chance? It is my understanding, from His word, that everyone hits their knees in uncontrolable reverence upon entering His prescence...

Finding Confidence Through God's Past Faithfulness

Gavin, my 7 year old son, approached me this morning with his latest wiggly tooth. With nervous anticipation, he asked me to test it to see if it was ready. His hesitation showed strongly as I wiggled back and forth a bit, and when I grasped the tooth, for a better feel, he backed away immediately. It was obvious that, regardless of whether the tooth was ready, Gavin was not.

With the conversation tools that I always use with him, I knelt down in front of him, placed my hands on his shoulders, gently looked in his eyes and said:
“I’m your mommy. You can trust me; I love you and only want to help you. I won’t pull the tooth until you are ready. I promise that I’ll only wiggle a bit just to see if it’s ready. Trust me that I won’t pull it.”

He stood a bit more confidently before me. His nervous eyes shifted a bit, and he tilted his head up, and more up, as I wiggled the tooth but he didn’t step away.

I kept my promise and gave him a hug. I told him that it was pretty much ready but that we could give it a couple more days if he wanted.

That’s when his mental struggle began. He would come to me, but would then change his mind; back and forth, all morning. He wanted the result, and he knew that I could help, but he was having a hard time just letting me do what he knew I was capable of doing.

Finally he came in, looking a bit more resolved.
“Mom, I can’t take it anymore. I just need you to help me.”
I had heard this several times already that morning, but he had yet to actually let me do what needed to be done.

I sat in the dining room chair and he stood before me.
He said “Ok, wait. I just need to build up my bravery.”
What happened next was amazing.
He started listing my past faithfulness to him.
“You pulled my tooth before.”
“It didn’t hurt.”
“It didn’t bleed very much.”
“We did it at the couch last time.”
“You love me and I trust you.”

He looked at me and, with set determination, stepped forward and opened his mouth.
I laid my finger on the front of the tooth and gave it a swift push. The tooth was out.

It was through sharing this story with a friend that I saw our patterns of struggle with God regarding Faith.
We come to Him, knowing that He is more than capable, and yet we hesitate at, or even struggle against, His will.
He so often says to us:
“I’m your Father. You can trust Me; I love you and only want to help you. Trust in Me.”

At times we falter; coming before Him again and again but never allowing Him to do what needs to be done.

We know His ways, we know His Truth, we know “the answers”…and yet we constantly choose against them. We struggle against His Truth.

We say things like, “Yeah, I know that I should do it this way, but I just have control issues.”
or

“I know that God tells us to do it this way, but that just sounds too easy (or too hard).”

It is in these moments that we know that we do not trust Him.
We must refocus.

Gavin did something that it took me all of my life to learn; to look back on past Faithfulness.

God has shown Himself, in many ways. His Truth, promises and faithfulness can be found in our lives, in the lives of others and in His Word. Upon seeking them, upon recognizing them, what you will find is a prayer that sounds very similar to Gavin’s declaration.
“You have been there before. You love me and I trust You.”

It is then that you can stride forward, confidently, and it is when we do this that our lives become filled with the richness of His Truth and we gain wisdom.